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To understand the importance of teaching empathy to children, it is enough to know that empathy flows in our brains!
In fact, we have cells in our brain called mirror neurons. These cells become active as if we are performing the same action that another person is doing, or as if we are feeling what they are feeling.
Have you ever teared up when watching someone get hurt on television? This happens because your mirror neurons are being activated. On a neural level, you can actually feel their pain.
Mirror neurons are also the reason why yawning is contagious. When we observe someone else yawning, our mirror neurons fire, and as a result, we tend to yawn as well.
We need empathy in order to realize that we are all human beings and that we share far more in common than we often think.
Based on this, in this article from Solaleh, we will explore empathy, its impact on interpersonal relationships, and teaching empathy to children.
What Does Empathy Mean in Children?
Children are born with a certain level of empathy. They have an innate tendency to help others and to generally be kind. However, true empathy involves the ability to take another person’s perspective.
Before around the age of seven, children are not yet able to see the world from someone else’s point of view; this self-centeredness gradually decreases over time. If a child consistently behaves in ways that harm others—for example through physical aggression or verbal outbursts—this may indicate a difficulty in understanding the impact of their actions on others.
You may even be able to observe the development of empathy when watching films with a child. If a child is unable to experience the story from a character’s perspective—for instance, feeling pain when a character is hurt or feeling fear when the character is afraid—it may suggest that the child is still in the process of developing empathy.
It is important to note that our empathy is not equally distributed toward all people. We often feel closer to and more empathetic toward those we consider part of our “in-group,” while we may hold more negative attitudes toward those outside this circle.
As people become more loyal to their own “group,” it is important that we make an effort not to limit empathy only to those who are similar to us, and that we also pass this value on to our children.
Examples of Empathy in Children
Examples of empathy include behaviors that show a person’s understanding of and attention to the feelings and needs of others. For example, when a child sees that a classmate is upset, they may approach them and, by asking “How can I help?”, demonstrate an understanding of their emotions. Or when someone faces a problem, empathy means listening to them first instead of judging and offering support.
In a family setting, empathy means understanding the emotions of family members and responding to their needs; for instance, when parents recognize their child’s feelings and provide comfort during difficult moments. Empathy can also be reflected in everyday activities such as sharing resources or taking time to help others. These behaviors help build closer and healthier relationships in society and in different environments.
How is empathy taught to children?
Every parent wants to raise a child who shows empathy toward others. However, you may not be sure how to teach empathy to your child, and it can be especially challenging if your child has certain differences in learning and thinking.
A child who shows empathy is able to understand and appreciate another person’s thoughts, feelings, and experiences. However, children who have attention difficulties or social challenges may struggle with this skill.
For example, some children may move so quickly that they are not aware of another person’s feelings. They may also struggle to focus on a situation.
Children with social skill difficulties, such as NVLD, often have trouble picking up non-verbal cues. They may not notice or understand the emotions that people are expressing.
In this section of the article, we will introduce you to seven strategies for teaching empathy to children.
- Show empathy to children when they are upset.
- Discuss alternative strategies.
- Increase awareness of non-verbal cues.
- Play with your children.
- Role-play different scenarios.
- Experience empathy in the moment.
- Change your strategies in certain situations.
Show empathy to children when they are upset.
Being sensitive to children’s emotions not only helps them feel seen and understood, but also teaches them how empathy can strengthen relationships. This approach helps children recognize how it feels when someone pays attention to their emotions, and how they can apply this same attention in their own relationships.
For example, imagine you are preparing dinner and your child asks for ice cream. Instead of reacting quickly or expressing frustration, you can pause for a moment and respond with empathy. In this way, you show them that their feelings matter and that you understand them.
You might say: “I know you really want ice cream right now. Eating ice cream is enjoyable, but our agreement is to have dinner first and dessert afterward.”
Then, to strengthen their sense of participation and understanding, you can offer a creative suggestion: “Let’s write the exact time for having ice cream on the blackboard so waiting becomes easier and you can remember that dessert comes after dinner.”
Discuss alternative strategies.
The best time to strengthen empathy and communication skills is when your child is calm and their mind is ready to learn and reflect. When a child is in a relaxed and receptive state, it becomes much easier to talk about behaviors and emotions and encourage them to think more deeply.
For example, after dinner and having ice cream, you can say in an encouraging tone: “It’s really great that you waited to have your ice cream after dinner. This truly shows how much you’ve grown and how well you can be patient.”
Then you can create an opportunity for further learning: “What else do you think we could have said or done to make our conversation about ice cream even more pleasant?”
This open-ended question allows the child to reflect on their feelings and reactions and understand how a conversation can develop with calmness and mutual understanding. In this way, the child learns that in the future they can also address their needs and desires in a calmer and more empathetic manner, and that a good conversation can meet needs without turning into conflict or tension.
This approach not only helps the child accept their emotions, but also teaches them that rules and routines are important and should be respected. Moreover, by experiencing this model of behavior, the child learns how to express their own feelings in similar situations while also considering the feelings of others.
Increase awareness of non-verbal cues.
Children who have difficulties in social skills may sometimes struggle to understand social cues, especially body language and facial expressions. For example, downcast eyes and a withdrawn expression may not easily be recognized by them as a sign of “sadness.”
These children may need support in interpreting different signals from body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice so that they can understand the exact meaning of these cues.
One effective method for strengthening these skills is watching pictures or television programs without sound. In this situation, your child, with your help, can pay closer attention to body language, facial expressions, and non-verbal behaviors of the people in the program.
For example, you can ask them to identify the emotions of different characters on TV and assign a label to each feeling: “This character seems sad,” or “This one looks happy.”
Play with your children to teach them empathy.
Learning empathy should not feel like a stressful task for your child. You can even make it fun.
Sit with your child on a bench at a playground or in a shopping mall. Try to guess the moods of people passing by and explain what clues led you to think someone is happy, sad, or angry.
This type of game helps your child understand how facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice can reveal how others are feeling.
Role-playing different scenarios.
Some children who have social skills or attention difficulties struggle to imagine how another person feels. This can be true in everyday situations or in more serious moments, such as when a friend or family member is dealing with sadness.
Practicing scenarios like not being invited to a birthday party can make it easier for your child to see things from someone else’s perspective.
Experience empathy in the moment.
When your child shows a lack of empathy in a social situation, the best approach is to model empathy yourself. Instead of correcting them immediately, give them the opportunity to learn from you how to treat others with kindness and understanding.
For example, imagine that while walking to school, another child drops their art project and your child laughs. You might feel tempted to immediately scold your child, but a better response is to demonstrate empathy in action.
Rather than reacting negatively, you can approach the child who dropped their project and say: “Would you like me to help you pick it up again? I can also carry your books for you.”
Through this behavior, you show your child how empathy can help others in social situations and how one can respond to others’ problems with compassion and kindness.
This kind of behavioral modeling helps your child understand how, in similar situations, they should pay attention to others’ feelings and needs and put themselves in someone else’s shoes.
Change your strategies in certain situations.
If the “How do you feel?” strategy does not work in a situation and your child is still unable to understand others’ emotions, one effective approach is to shift the focus toward yourself.
In this method, you can help your child understand empathy by sharing your own personal experiences and expressing similar feelings. This allows them to better connect with and understand emotions through real-life examples.
For example, you might say: “I remember when I was standing in line at the pizza shop, and it took a long time for my turn to come. After a while, someone didn’t notice that I was in line and placed their order before me!”
This method, instead of forcing the child to talk about their own feelings, focuses on your experience, and this shift in focus can be helpful. When you express your own emotions, your child indirectly learns from you how to pay attention to the feelings of others.
This approach helps the child focus on your emotions and the experience you are sharing, which may lead them to a better understanding of other people’s feelings.
Ways to strengthen empathy in children
Empathy is a skill that can be taught and developed in a purposeful way. Learning empathy involves a conscious process that helps us better recognize, understand, and respond appropriately to the feelings of others.
This skill is gradually strengthened through several important steps, which include:
1-Recognizing and understanding others’ emotions: In the first step, it is necessary to be able to identify non-verbal cues such as facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language, and understand what people are feeling. This ability helps us understand their emotional state without needing words.
2-Putting oneself in others’ shoes: For true empathy, we must be able to see the world from other people’s perspective. Asking ourselves questions such as “If I were in this situation, how would I feel and what would I be thinking?” helps us view the situation from another person’s mental frame of reference.
3-Conscious choice of empathetic behaviors: After understanding others’ emotions, it is time to take a step forward instead of reacting instinctively and choose behaviors that show kindness and support. This means selecting words and actions that convey empathy and compassion instead of anger and judgment.
Strengthening these skills not only helps improve our social and emotional relationships, but also creates a world filled with understanding and cooperation. In fact, empathy begins when we momentarily set ourselves aside and fully try to see and feel others.
One of the most effective ways to teach empathy to children is to show empathy to them. By asking open-ended questions, you demonstrate to them what understanding others looks like. You help them label their emotions and tell them that it is okay to feel whatever they are feeling. This shows them that they are seen and accepted.
When do children develop empathy?
Empathy in children begins around the ages of 2 to 3, when they start showing empathetic behaviors such as comforting a sad sibling or sharing a toy with a lonely playmate. However, it is not clear whether these actions reflect a full understanding of others’ emotions.
At this stage, children demonstrate a basic level of empathy, which is then nurtured and refined through guidance from parents and teachers during their development.
When children acquire the cognitive skills needed to understand others’ perspectives, true empathy begins to form around the age of 6 to 7. At this age, children are able to understand how others feel and are more likely to help those they believe are in distress.
Most people believe that empathy is a natural ability inherent in humans; however, it continues to develop throughout childhood and adolescence. The development of empathy in children is influenced by various factors, including genetics, temperament, and upbringing.
The future of a child whose empathy has been strengthened
The future of a child whose sense of empathy has been strengthened will be filled with positive opportunities and personal success. This child will be able to build deeper and stronger relationships with others because they have the ability to understand and respect other people’s feelings.
In facing social challenges, they are more likely to seek peaceful solutions instead of reacting harshly, and they can be recognized as a compassionate and responsible leader. These children generally enjoy better mental health and are less prone to depression or anxiety.
In addition, they are more inclined to help others and actively participate in solving community problems, which is why a future full of positive achievements awaits them.
Conclusion
Teaching empathy to children means helping them understand and share the feelings of others. This learning can be conveyed through activities such as role-playing games, storytelling, or conversations about emotions.
Empathy helps children listen to others and understand their feelings instead of judging them. Parents and educators should teach this skill by modeling empathetic behavior and creating a supportive environment.
This education enables children to build better relationships and find more humane solutions when facing challenges.
Resources
https://www.understood.org/en/articles/teaching-empathy-activities
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